


What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted?

by TraceofInk



Category: NCIS
Genre: Break Up, M/M, Not Betaed, possible WIP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-25
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2017-11-10 17:36:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/468911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TraceofInk/pseuds/TraceofInk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Since Tony had started to work for Gibbs and the NCIS both men had shared a lot...the elevator...the car....Gibbs' basement...a bed...but everything broke apart after Gibbs learned about Jeanne and Tony's relationship with her...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one day at work and I'm not sure if I will continue it, or not...
> 
> This is for all of you who has been so kind to leave Kudos and comments on almost everything I wrote so far and who are patient enough to stick with me, even when its slow going right now!  
> Thank you, guys!

** What Becomes Of The Broken Hearted? **

  
  
  
Gibbs laughed at something the sheriff of this odd little town was saying and Tony couldn't suppress the wave of jealousy when he saw that.  
When had he been able to bring a smile to Gibbs face like that?  
Has it been last week? Last Month?  
He couldn't really remember... their relationship had been strained, ever, since that undercover job that he had done for the Director...since Jeanne...  
He still felt that deep guilt whenever he thought about it... when he thought about what he' d had to do to make her believe that he loved her...loved her...  
What a bullshit!  
Tony suddenly realized how lonely the last few weeks had been, since Gibbs had last visited him...when the older man had told him that he (a) understood why Tony had done what he had done for the job he had been ordered to, but (b) even when he understood everything, he would need some time to get used to the idea of Tony sleeping with someone else...  
Gibbs had broken Tony's heart with those words and the younger man was almost able to swear that even his almost deaf neighbor, three doors up the floor, had been able to hear it shattering.  
  
  
The sheriff said something else and was leaning way to far over to Gibbs to be professional, but Tony watched how Gibbs' smile became more...seductive...and he bend a little further over his backpack and started to rummage through it, just to be able to concentrate on something else than that growing pain in his chest.  
“Are you about done there, Tony?” Ziva asked softly from behind him and Tony shrugged.  
“Dunno, depends on if you're knowing where I've put my sketchbook,” Tony replied, way too cheerful to be believable and if he had turned around he would have seen the frown on Ziva's face before the woman turned away.  
“Ya' unable to keep your things together, DiNozzo?” Gibbs' voice came from beside him and was hard and sharp like a knife.  
Tony didn't even flinch. He only sighed and even that was more out of defeat than anything else, “Apparently not, boss.”  
Normally he would have jumped up, straightened his clothes and smiled one of his big, goofy smiles, but not today...Today he simply stayed where he was, bend over his backpack, readying himself to take everything his lover would dish out for him-  
No, correction, his former lover...  
“I really don't know why I'm keeping ya on the job, DiNozzo,” Gibbs shook his head and frowned when he received not one of the carefree answers Tony would have given him the past, but had to watch how the younger man's shoulders fell even more...  
*Dammit, DiNozzo,* he cursed and turned around sharply to stalk back to the still smiling sheriff and the prospect of a night not spent alone far away from his basement, his boat and his bourbon...  
Tony rose up when he heard how Gibbs gave some last orders to Ziva and McGee before he and the sheriff were driving off.  
*I don't know about that ether-*  
He jumped a little when a warm hand landed on his shoulder.  
“Anthony my dear boy,” Ducky's voice was soft and so caring that Tony shook the hand off and took a few steps away before he turned to face the older ME.  
“I think I left it inside,” he said. “I'll be right back.”  
  
The house was still stifling hot and the nauseating stench of decay hung in the air and almost drove Tony to his knees, but the young agent fought against it, until he reached the bedroom, in which the parents had found their only son, naked and in a puddle of blood and stuff no one really wanted to think about.  
No one wanted to give voice to what they were suspecting with the parents still in hearing range ether, but the bruises and cuts and bleedings on the young marines' backside had made it painful clear that he'd been brutally raped...  
Tony gagged a few times when he passed the bed on his way to the windowsill where he could see his sketchbook and gasped loudly when he heard a pitiful “Meow” coming from under the bed.  
When he bend down to get a look he saw a little, black kitten sitting under it, its small dark body covered with dust bunnies.  
“Come here,” he extended his hand and frowned a little when the cat shrunk away from him, deeper under the queen sized bed. “Awww, don't be shy, kitty.”  
He'd needed some time to get the kitten out and when he came out of the house it was to the sight of...nobody there.  
He shook his head in disbelieve and raised the small kitten up to look it straight in the face.  
“I'm not very lucky today, eh?” he asked tiredly and sighed before he put the kitten into one of the many pockets of his backpack.  
“I wouldn't say that,” Ducky's voice came from behind him and Tony grimaced. Trust Ducky to find a way to discuss something with him that he really didn't want to have to discuss. “If you had stopped for a moment I would have told you that I would send the others ahead to bring the body of that poor boy to the morgue and wait for you at the car.”  
  
Both men were silent for a few minutes into their drive back to Boiling Springs, Tony was able to relax a bit behind the wheel before Ducky couldn't stand it any longer.  
“As much as I'm enjoying your company and the view, but would you mind telling me what is going on between you and Jethro?”  
“Ducky,” Tony tensed. He really did not want to have that conversation, but knew that Ducky wouldn't leave it alone.  
“Don't you Ducky me, Anthony. I may be old, but my mother did not raise no fool and even Mister Palmer is able to tell that there is something amiss between you and Jethro since-”  
The older ME swallowed when he caught a glimpse of pain in Tony's eyes and connected the dots, “Oh my.”  
“Yeah, that about sums it up pretty good, Duck,” Tony said with a nod and a sarcastic smile. “You know? It had never been the same since Mexico, I mean, he disappeared on us- on me- for four months- four whole months- in which I never knew if he would ever come back, or if he even remembered us, but the one thing that broke us apart was not his amnesia, or his retirement, but me doing what I've been ordered to do.”  
“Surely-” Ducky tried to interrupt, but Tony wouldn't let him.  
“I should have said no, I know that now, but I chose to be a bastard instead and played with the feelings of a lot of people, people who will never be able to trust me again-”  
“Now Anthony-”  
Tony stopped the car and rested his forehead against the steering wheel, “Everything is just fucked up, Ducky. Nothing will ever remedy what I've done to get the job done and, maybe-”  
The ringing of a cellphone startled Tony into silence before he realized that it was his own and opened his seatbelt to reach behind them to get the phone out of his backpack.  
He ignored Ducky's surprised gasp when he picked the wrong pocket and pulled the kitten out and trust it into the older man's hands.  
“DiNozzo,” he said when he'd finally found the cellphone and Ducky watched how the young agent tensed up.  
He was about to ask Tony what was happening, but the younger man closed his cellphone abruptly and threw it into the backseat.  
“Gibbs told me to tell you that he reserved us a room at the Boiling Springs Motel and to drive straight over instead to meet him at the sheriff's office. The ME of the town will meet with you early tomorrow to do the autopsy.”  
“And what about you, Anthony?” Ducky asked when Tony started the car again.  
“Me? Oh, I'm supposed to drive back to Washington-”  
“But-”  
“No buts, Ducky,” Tony said and shook his head before he made a slashing motion with one of his hands.  
Ducky understood the younger man's need to stop the conversation, so he lifted the small, now a little drowsy appearing kitten from his lap to have a good look into its small face.  
“And who may this young lady be?”  
“The kitten? I found it under the bed,” Tony explained and reached over to stroke through the kitten's soft fur. “Do you think it would be possible for me to keep it?”  
  
  
Gibbs stood right outside of the sheriff's office and watched a small crowd of people at the other side of the street with keen eyes and a fresh cup of coffee in his hands.  
He'd sent all the evidence over to Abby and Ducky would start the Autopsy in the morning, McGee was checking Petty Officer Olson's telephone and credit card bills and he was getting ready to interview Olson's neighbor, which was a far shot, when he considered the distance between Olson's house and the house of Mr. and Mrs. Goldblum.  
He shrugged inwardly and took a sip of his coffee, he grimaced at the taste, but at least it was tasting a lot more like coffee than the last cup he'd had before.  
“Hey Mister,” a small voice from beside him called and Gibbs turned to see a boy standing beside him. Tears kept sliding down the boys' face to mingle with the layer of dirt which was covering it and it tore at the agent's heart how lost the boy appeared.  
Gibbs let himself fall to one of his knees and had to fight hard not to reach out and simply pull the small body tight, “What is it, Champ?”  
“Did you see my sister, Mister?” the boy asked in a tear choked voice and stepped nearer to the man. “I think I lost her.”  
“What's your name, buddy?”  
“Steven, sir.”  
“Don't sir me. I'm Gibbs.” the older man replied and smiled softly when he watched how the boy frowned at that.  
“Gibbs? You've got a funny name, Mister.”  
“Yeah? Well, maybe,” Gibbs fished around in the pockets of his jacket until he found his handkerchief and held it out for the boy to use. “So what's your sisters name?”  
“Lucy,” the boy, Steven, said and blew his nose rather loudly. “She's four.”  
“Where did you loose her, Steven?”  
The sheriff appeared behind Gibbs before the boy was able to answer the older agent and the tone of voice the man used was indication enough for Gibbs that this hadn't been the first time that little Lucy disappeared, “Let me guess, Steven, your sister disappeared on you again?”  
“Yes, sir,” Steven nodded and Gibbs grimaced when he stood and felt how his knee protested the movement by sending a sharp pain through his leg.  
“Did you check the Ice Cream Pallor? She'd always been there when she went for a stroll.”  
Steven turned to have a look down the street to where the house in question was located and Gibbs followed his gaze and wondered if they would have Tony's favorite ice cream as well, but then he shook his head slightly and gave the boy a pat on one of his shoulders before he turned away.  
“Does our date still stand?” the sheriff called after him and Gibbs lifted a hand as a sign that he hadn't forgotten, even when he felt a tight knot by the idea of spending time with someone who was so apparently not Anthony DiNozzo.  
  
***

 

  
Tony sighed when he was finally able to escape Ducky's clutches, not that he disliked the old ME, but to be on the table (so to speak) was more than a little off putting in Tony's eyes.  
“I think,” Ducky came out of the car and groaned when his back straightened with some cracking sounds. “This little lady of yours could go with some food.”  
The younger man pulled a face before he nodded curtly and turned to have a look down the main-street of the town.  
Apparently he found what he was searching, because he stepped up to Ducky and placed the kitten into the man's hands with a soft sigh, “Could you take her upstairs? I'll go and get some stuff-”  
“Of course, my boy. Of course,” Ducky answered and Tony could tell that he wanted to say more, but he refused to give him the change and walked away with wide strides.  
  
*Oh Anthony,* Ducky followed the younger man with sad eyes, until the young man had disappeared into the grocery store. “Come on, little lady, let's get us inside.”  
***  
“DiNozzo?” Gibbs voice from behind let the young man flinch and he turned wearily around to face whatever Gibbs would dish out to him.  
“Boss?”  
Gibbs felt the urge to sigh, he knew that he was hurting Tony with what he was doing, but...  
It seamed that...  
...he couldn't help himself...  
“Shouldn't you be at the Hotel and prepare yourself for your way home tomorrow?”  
He watched how something dark was settling in Tony's eyes.  
“Sure,” the younger man said flatly. “Just wanted to get some things for- ya know- on the road?”  
Tony held a bag of chips up for Gibbs to see to indicate what he was meaning.  
“Look Tony-”  
“If there's nothing more, boss,” the man had turned his back to the older agent and Gibbs watched, a little helpless, how he was trying to find something for his hands to do when he grabbed a bag of something and put it back onto the shelf only a few seconds later.  
“No, Tony,” Gibbs straightened his shoulders. It had been a bad idea to get involved with a coworker after all. “There's nothing more.”  
Tony nodded and- He really should say something to the older man, right? Something that showed that Tony would do anything and everything to save whatever he could save. - so he straightened his back and took some deep breaths to find the necessary courage to face Gibbs.  
*Now or never,* he thought and turned abruptly to face...  
...an empty space...


	2. Chapter 2

Jimmy Palmer run a hand over his already sweaty face and nodded at what the mechanic from the gas station was telling him and groaned after the man had turned away to do whatever he had to do now.  
“Mister Palmer?” Doctor Mallard stood suddenly beside him and made him jump.  
“D- Doctor?”  
“Well, what's the verdict?” Ducky asked a little impatiently and rolled his eyes, when Jimmy asked.  
“Verdict? On what?”  
“The truck, mister Palmer. The truck.”  
“Oh.” Jimmy had the grace to blush. “The truck, right.”  
“Yes?”  
“Well, the air conditioning unit is definitely broken and Mister Plogman just told me that he would be able to repair it, but not before he'd gotten all the spare parts he needs.”  
“And he would have them, when?” Ducky asked a little irritated.  
“Maybe tomorrow,” Jimmy answered with a wince. “Or the day after tomorrow-”  
Ducky looked hard at the young man in front of him, before he sighed and shrugged.  
“Well, that's very unfortunate, but can't be chanced now.”  
Jimmy nodded in agreement.  
“Would you be a good boy, mister palmer and bring my bag to Doctor Shelvin's office for me?”  
“Of course, Doctor.”

Ducky smiled at the Doctor of the town and extended his hand, “I hope you're not to much put off by my intrusion?”  
“Nah,” Doctor Shelvin, a man with too much weight around his middle and a few too many hairs missing on his scalp took a hold of the offered hand and shook it with a little more force than necessary. “That's your job, right? The sheriff explained that you've got some trouble with that truck of yours?”  
“Yes, I'm afraid we've got to stay a bit longer than originally planned.”  
“Well,” Doctor Shelvin said with a smile, a little bit too bright for Ducky's liking. “Mi casa is your casa. Feel free to make yourself a home here. I'll be at my office for most of the day anyway, so I don't think there'll be a problem with us stepping on our toes every few minutes.”  
“Thank you, doctor-”  
“Galvin, please,” the doctor interrupted and his smile grew when Ducky nodded in acceptance.  
“I'm Donald then.”  
*Donald?* Jimmy thought in surprise when he heard that. *He's never used-*  
He wasn't able to finish that thought when the bag caught the edge of something standing beside the door and whatever it was fell with a loud clattering noise.  
Ducky winced, before he rolled his eyes at the surprised doctor who was starring at young mister Palmer with wide eyes, “That's my assistant, mister palmer-”  
“Hi,” Jimmy extended his hand and was surprised when Ducky moved between him and the still starring doctor.   
“Mister Palmer, I do believe it's quiet rude to make a mess like this and not to get it back into order immediately.”  
“What? Oh, sure, I- I'm sorry, Doctor.”  
“Yeah well,” doctor Shelvin shook himself out of his rigor. “I've got to get going.”  
He gave a nod at Ducky and left the room without another glance at Jimmy and Ducky exhaled explosively.

 

Gibbs watched from his hidden place how Tony placed the box with the collected evidence on the backseat beside his backpack and slid behind the wheel, where he rested his head on the steering wheel for a moment before he started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot and the older man sighed and the defeated look he saw on the younger man's face.  
No, to start a relationship with a co-worker had never been a good idea- he emptied his now cold cup of coffee into the nearest bush, before he turned around to go back into the hotel to make sure the rest of his team was doing what he'd ordered them to do.  
***  
Tony was just steering out of town, when something caught his attention at the roadside.  
'Red Deer,' he identified and reduced his speed in anticipation, just in case it wanted to cross the street in front of his car, but he was unprepared for the big stag which appeared suddenly in front of his car.  
He'd never seen them that near and the last time in his childhood-  
Standing there and watching him and his father with weary eyes, knowing that humans would only come near if they wanted to inflict pain and death.  
Tony had been impressed of the sheer size of those animals then, but it had nothing on this one.  
He squeezed his eyes shut in sheer reflex, as if not seeing anything would make it go away, but it didn't-  
The car bucked like a wild horse.  
His windshield shattered and he felt a sudden stinging pain on his face, neck and arms, before his head was thrown backwards by the exploding airbag....


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very sorry it's taking me sooo long to update... *sigh*... I hope you're still enjoying this story!

“Hey-”

“-saline-”

“-operate that leg-”

“-blood pressure’s dropping-”

 

“Mister DiNozzo?”

A voice, soft and female, called from somewhere on Tony’s right side.

“That’s it, Mister DiNozzo. Open your eyes for me.”

He tried.

Someone moaned.

Was that his voice?

“Come on, Mister DiNozzo,” the voice coached. “Give it another try.”

 

The call had startled Gibbs right out of the “I don’t care”- emotion he’d shown to the people around him and he drove to the hospital with a pounding heart and, for the first time since Tony had admitted what he’d done a few weeks ago, fear...deep, painful, all consuming fear.

 

**Seven weeks ago, Gibbs’ basement:**

Gibbs worked on his boat to relax and smiled when he heard the familiar sound of his lover’s steps above him.

“Hey,” Tony greeted and sat down heavily on one of the sawhorses.

Gibbs frowned when he looked over to the younger man. Their relationship had been strained since he’d lost his memory in an explosion and went to mexico to spent some time with the only man he’d still known then.

He still felt guilty for so many things...

Gibbs stared at Tony for a long moment. He took in the signs of exhaustion; the dark circles under the younger man’s eyes and how thin he appeared to be.

“Where have you been?” he asked, harsher than intended and watched how Tony flinched. “You knew we-”

“Yes, I know, Jethro,” Tony sighed and stood. He looked like he wanted to say more, but then he sighed again and moved a few steps away from Gibbs.

Gibbs went over to the workbench and threw the tool he’d been working with on it, before he grabbed the bottle of bourbon to up his glass.

He turned around to face the room and kept his silence, even when he burned to ask some questions.

“It’d been hard when you’ve been away,” Tony started and Gibbs saw a lot of emotions run over the man’s face. “The team was in shambles and...and I-”

Gibbs sighed and drained the glass in his hands in two swallows, placed it back onto the workbench and took a step in Tony’s direction, only to freeze when the younger man took a step backwards.

He narrowed his eyes. “You afraid of me now, Tony?” he asked annoyed.

“No,” Tony shook his head, but then he shrugged. “Yes, maybe?”

“What? No, or yes,” Gibbs asked. “You’ve got to decide.”  
  
“I-”

“Don’t lie to me,” Gibbs growled and missed the look Tony sent to him, by turning his back to him.

“You remember the talk we had- just- just before you-” Tony stammered and Gibbs could hear him clearing his throat before he continued in a whisper. “The one where we talked about the things we would do to get the job done? And how you told me about Madame Director’s and your assignment in Paris?”

Gibbs closed his eyes and nodded sharply.

Tony exhaled explosively and Gibbs tensed in anticipation for the things to come.

“Before you resigned Madame Director-,” Tony spat the title out like a curse. “-gave me an assignment.”

The younger man swallowed heavily.

“I had to get involved with the daughter of a gunrunner-”

“Involved-” Gibbs repeated in a low voice and closed his eyes, glad that Tony couldn’t see him from where he stood.

“Yes,” Tony answered. “Involved. Madame Director ordered me to do all the things necessary to get the informations she wanted.”  
Gibbs turned around fast and glared at his lover with blazing eyes, “So you-”

“I had sex with her,” Tony confessed and closed his eyes, but went on. “I tried to put it off as long as possible, but eventually I had to-”

Gibbs gasped in surprise. He took some deep breaths and extended his hand towards Tony.

“Come here, Tony,” he ordered. “I could use some help with the boat.”

Tony had sighed, smiled a little sad smile and then grabbed a tool and got to work and all the time he talked about the things he’d done with Jeanne, how he’d gathered all the informations about La Grenouille he could find-

And Gibbs just listened.

And Tony had thought that they would be able to work it out somehow...

 

**One week later**

Tony sat on the stairs in Gibbs’ basement and stared at the boat which stood in the middle of the basement.

“You know?” he asked in a whisper. “He’s spending more time with you than me since our talk last week. And I can’t help but wonder if-”

“What are you doing here, Tony?” Gibbs’ voice interrupted him and Tony jumped to his feet.

“I- I-, well, you’ve missed our date and I thought-”

“Jethro?” The voice of Jenny Sheppard echoed through the basement and Tony flinched before he straightened his back and put on a false smile.

“Problems?” the woman asked from above them and Tony grinned up at her.

“Nope, Madame Director. Everything’s peachy,” he shouldered his way past Gibbs and moved swiftly out of reach when the older man tried to grab him. “I’ll better be on my way. Sorry for interrupting, boss,” he nodded at the woman. “Madame Director.”

The talk they had a few hours later left Tony’s whole world in shards...sharper than any knife could be and he was bleeding to death inwardly.

 

**Present time:**

“Agent Gibbs?” an elderly woman in a white smock asked and extended her hand to the waiting agent. “My name is Dr. Beverly Hastings, I’ve operated on Agent DiNozzo.”

“How is he?” Gibbs asked and shook the hand offered to him more on autopilot than anything else.

“Well, that man surely had a bunch of guardian angels,” she looked down at the chart in her hands and sighed. “We repaired some inner bleedings and set his right leg-”

She looked up into Gibbs’ pale face and cleared her throat.

“-it’s been broken in two places,” the woman smiled softly. “It was tough and go for a while, but we’ve got him back and he’s doing good for now. Of course, he’ll be under observation until we can make sure that there are no hidden surprises waiting for us.”

“Can I- can I see him?” Gibbs choked out and did a sigh in relief when the doctor simply nodded and stepped aside. “It’s the last door on the left.”

How could he have said the things he’d said that night to Tony and not die of shame, or at least beg for forgiveness the moment the words had left his mouth?

He knew he’d hurt Tony badly, saw it in the younger man’s eyes when the light (Love? Hope?) in them died and was replaced by something akin to darkness.

He’d feared for a few days after that talk that Tony would do something stupid and this fear had made him angry, which in turn let him snap at his team, mostly Tony, when he would be truthful to himself, but, just like the bastard he was, he just ignored the fact that the young man shrunk into himself every day a bit more, until he wasn’t more than a shadow of himself.

***

_“Did you have a good time with Madame Director, Jethro?” Tony’s voice was neither loud nor sarcastic, or loud and it infuriated Gibbs more than anything else the younger man could do._

_“Yes, gotta problem with that, DiNozzo?” Gibbs asked harshly and watched how the younger man grinned somewhat darkly._

_“Not at all,” Tony replied. “You’ve made it quite clear where you’re standing in all this, right?”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“Oh, come on, Gibbs,” Tony moved gracefully around the room. “I’ve told you about what she ordered me to do and you’ve got nothing better to than to-” Tony waved his hands around before he let them fall down to his sides with a sigh._

_“I should have known it wouldn’t last, right?” Tony asked in a whisper. “Should have known that-”_

_“Did you really believe that I could just forget everything and move on?” Gibbs asked._

_“I don’t know,” Tony answered. “I suppose so.”_

_The younger man shrugged, “You’ve told me yourself that you would do anything necessary to get it done-”_

_“Yeah,” Gibbs nodded. “But not fucking someone regularly, knowing there’s someone waiting  for me at home.”_

_Tony flinched._

_“But there was no one waiting,” Tony whispered._

_“What?” Gibbs asked angrily and was in two strides over at where Tony was standing._

_“You’ve been away for months,” Tony explained with pain filled eyes. “No one knew_

_if you would come back, or not- I didn’t knew if you even remembered me… us-”_

_“And that is supposed to make it right?” Gibbs asked._

_“No,” Tony shook his head frantically. “Only explain-”_   
_“I don’t care,” Gibbs growled. “I can’t go on pretending to not knowing what happened between you and this woman-”_

_Tony sighed, “You’ve said-”_

_“So? Sue me, if you want,” Gibbs’ voice held a note of acid in it that burned even in his own throat. “I’ve talked with Jenny about the case and do you know what she told me, DiNozzo?”_

_The older man crowded Tony against the wall and leaned into the younger man’s space._

_“She told me that she never gave you the order to get involved with Benoit’s daughter.”_

_Tony’s eyes widened in shocked surprise._

_“She lied-” he gasped._

_“Who lied?” Gibbs asked mockingly. “She...or you?”_

***


	4. Chapter 4

He took a seat beside the bed and sighed. He wondered if he would be allowed to take Tony’s hand in his. Just for a few moments. Just to make sure.  
To make sure, there was still a pulse beating under that too pale skin.  
“It’s okay,” a female voice said. “I know, he looks fragile, but that boy’s tougher than a whole bunch of people I know.”  
Gibbs raised his eyes and glared at the girl standing in the door, but she only smirked and popped her gum loudly.  
“Hi, I’m Sue, Doctor Hastings’ daughter.”  
“So-”  
“What am I doing here?” Sue smiled and stepped further into the room. She made a swirling gesture with her right hand. “This is a small town, Mister. And my mother is running this,-” she made some quotation marks in the air. “-clinic with just two other guys, from which one is on vacation in New York and the other is busy with delivering Mrs. Handscomb’s twins, so I’ve volunteered to play something like a nurse-”  
“Sue,” Dr. Hastings stepped into the room. “There’s still some laundry-”  
“Yeah, I know, Mom,” Sue gave a suffering sigh, but smiled at Gibbs, before she disappeared through the door.  
“I’m sorry, Agent Gibbs, I hope she didn’t say or do something improper.” The Doctor sighed when Gibbs shook his head negatively and opened the file in her hands.  
“I’ve received Agent DiNozzo’s medical file and I’m a little concerned-”  
“Why?” Gibbs asked harshly and resented the urge to jump up and pace.  
“Well,” Doctor Hastings cleared her throat. “I’ve been a little surprised to read about his bout with the plaque. Do you know, if he kept up with his booster shots?”  
Gibbs frowned for a moment.  
“Normally, yes, but I’ve been away for a few months this year and I’m not sure if he went to his doctor to get them.”  
“Okay,” the Doctor made a note on a pad. “Here’s noted that his weight would be around 170 pounds.”  
She frowned at the unconscious man on the bed, even a blind could see that the man had lost weight, her frown morphed to a delighted grin when Tony started to come to.  
Gibbs jumped t his feet and bend over the younger man, “Tony?”  
***  
Someone was moaning somewhere.  
He tried to open his eyes.  
Tried to move his head, his hands, or body, but he felt heavy.  
So heavy and oh so tired.  
“Tony?”  
Was that Gibbs’ voice calling him?  
Gibbs.  
The man he loved for so long now?  
There was a hissing noise in his ears, drowning out, whatever Gibbs was trying to say to him and Tony regretted to not being able to listen to his lover’s voice a little while longer, but then everything came rushing back.  
The break-up...the long, sleepless nights and even longer days...Gibbs angry demands for him to work faster, harder, more...The hopelessness when he watched Gibbs and Director Shepard leaving together... the taste of bile in his mouth...the tears...the pain...oh so much pain...the stag, magnificent and...how he’d hoped for some fleeting moments for it all to be over…  
“Agent DiNozzo?” a female voice, soft, but persistent called him and he just couldn’t ignore the pull to open his eyes any longer.  
“Agent DiNozzo,” the female voice called again. “Just open your baby-blues for a moment and then I’ll give you something for the pain, okay honey?”  
*Yeah, sure*  
The world was blurry. A mix of light and darkness and he wasn’t able to identify anything.  
***  
“What’s with his eyes?” Gibbs asked.  
“The windshield exploded inwards when the stag hit the car, Agent Gibbs. We flushed them in case some of the glass-”  
“Boss?” Tony’s voice interrupted the doctor, who was beginning to lose her patience with Gibbs and both of them turned to the wounded man.  
“Hey, Tony,” Gibbs bend over to talk into Tony’s ear and smiled slightly, when the younger man turned into his direction.  
“Am I dead yet?” Tony whispered and flinched when Gibbs stroke over his right cheek with one calloused hand.  
“No, you aren’t,” Gibbs whispered and felt a spear of pain through his heart when Tony finched again.  
“Agent DiNozzo,” Dr. Hastings greeted. “It’s good to see you awake. How are you feeling?”  
“Broken, Ma’am,” Tony answered and tried to suppress a cough.   
“Well, that about sums it up, doesn’t it?” Dr. Hastings made another bunch of notes on her pad. “How’s the pain on a scale from one to ten, by ten being the worst pain imaginable-”  
“I- I- I don’t know, six, maybe a seven?”  
“Which means it’s more like eight or nine,” Gibbs growled and the doctor smiled a knowing smile.  
“Yeah, guessed that much,” she turned around to leave the room. “I’ll be right back.”


End file.
